Lonely in 2022: Love in a Time of Instant Gratification

When you’re in the grip of a strong sickness, your mind wanders off to incidents from your past. The good and bad. The really, really bad.

Why is that????

Like that time in Bali when your phone was snatched out of your hand by a motorbike thief and you run after him only to fall face down and cut your lip.

Or the time you were too open with the wrong people and discover they hate your guts.

How about that one night stand you see EVERYWHERE and you wish you could forget?

That walk of shame in London where you smelled like a brewery and took the subway back to your hostel (um…is that just me?).

The arguments with your parents?

This was my week…flopping around in my bed in a cold sweat with Covid-19 and crying about things I couldn’t change.

Not fun at all.

In fact, I caught the virus from a man who still had it.

Don’t ask how.

He never apologized, wished me well, or offered to see if there was anything I needed. We both got to Tbilisi around the same time. Thought he was a decent one. An exception to the rule of men only looking for friends with benefits or a one-night stand. After all, we know the same people. We’re both digital nomads who lived in Vietnam and are heading to Bali later in the year.

Well…Some things were exchanged, and he threw a five year-old fit because he got lost coming over to bring my book. He arrived with 3% battery. Is that my fault? Not an empathetic bone in his body. I ended up paying to get my sentimental book and drop off his. Now, he’s out of my life. A sad excuse for a man.

This saying has never been more true….

Lay down with dogs expect to get fleas. 

Let’s be honest about living this location-independent lifestyle…It’s fucking hard to find someone interested in a relationship. It can get dead lonely sometimes always meeting new people and everyone’s unsure of their plans.

You move to London.

She moves to Chiang Mai and might be in MedellΓ­n in about four months.

At some point, one of you must make the scary decision to drop your plans and follow the other person. Or is it following? Is it pathetic or sad to drop your plans to spend more time with the person you can’t get out of your head???

Don’t you think it’s terribly romantic ONLY if those feelings are reciprocated? No one likes a stalker.

At 41, I’m not in the mood for mind games or commitment dodgers. Some of friends suggested lying about my age because I certainly don’t look 41. More like 31 due to good living and keeping stress-inducing motherfuckers at bay. hehe

Most guys my age want women half their age because they're too insecure in their manhood to handle a woman around their age. 

No joke. I’ll never forget that American guy in Chiang Mai who told me MY problems. One of them having too many opinions and being too serious. Well…I guess opening my legs would make me less serious…huh, Bob? I told him where he could stick his opinions and it certainly wasn’t up a chocha.

Younger men are too insecure to deal with older woman. Guess I can date grandpa once he’s finally ready to settle down in the old folks’ home.

Why should I have to lie about my age to protect some man's ego?

Where does this leave us straight forty-something, single, world traveling women? Should we give up on the male species at a certain age and focus on women? Or turn asexual?

I’m strong and weak. There are many faults and it’s taken me a while to fully acknowledge them. Don’t expect me to be perfect. Are you perfect? What is perfection?

Cry or yell or laugh too loud (gd loud Americans), but I’m fully alive and try my best to care about others whether it’s inviting them over for dinner or for a chat in a cafe. It’s hard living the nomadic lifestyle and being far away from family…If you have it. I get that.

There’s a group called Nomad Soulmates that seems promising. Perhaps, you might find a kindred spirit there. All I found was a New Yorker with a cocaine problem who didn’t like women wearing make-up. Then there was that hot transvestite from Brazil who judged everything I wore. Ugh…It’s hard trying to find Mr. Right.

There’s something inherently selfish with all digital nomads when it comes to traveling.

We don’t want to change our plans for someone else unless that person is REALLY special. Flight tickets and rebooking isn’t cheap. Would you change your travel plans to spend more time with someone or is that considered a sign of weakness?

There was a man I met in Bali with whom I thought a connection was made. He was going to stay for six months and I had no definite plans. We went out for a month and then he cut it off because we weren’t from the same places. He was going back to the U.K. and I was going wherever I wanted. Although he claimed to really like me; I think it was a paltry excuse to choose not to become closer to me because we have different passports. Ugh.

When will this type of thinking stop….

You crave affection, but you’re not willing to genuinely show you care. A few sweet notes for no reason. Flowers. I still keep the love notes one man gave me from over twenty years ago along with a wilted flower. Haven’t received any since.

Here's something controversial...Is romance dead? Did feminism kill it? 

You crave intimacy, but you let bad relationships from your past keep you from being open with any future partners. Is that fair???

You want to be vulnerable in front of someone, butyou’re not willing to accept that person’s flaws.

You can make mistakes, but will judge your partner harshly for making one mistake.

As March 2022, I’ve come to the conclusion love doesn’t exist.

This time, I really need to hear from my readers. Share your romance stories and give hope. This is a topic that comes up often in feminine digital nomad circles.

Social media, icon, emotion, connection, sharing

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