Becca in Bali: Old Cows and a  Piss-Drunk Ancient Norwegian

This past week in Bali has been interesting. I’m living in Denpasar, the capital of Bali, where the traffic is horrendous! I just rented a Scoopy scooter from the first friend I made here….Heather. We’re both from Chicago and now living in Bali! Sadly, Heather turned out to be a selfish gossip with whom I decided to cut all communication. The world is indeed a small place. Hahaha

Anyway, I was invited to an old cow’s birthday party. Just to give you some background about this lovely island of Bali, when I say “old cows” I’m referring to the old women that date young men. In this case, the old foreign cows that date very young Indonesian men.

You’ll see a lot of these “couples” all over the island. Mainly they consist of old foreign men that date young Indonesian women, but I’ll refer to them in another post. I met this woman a few times at a beach bar in Seminyak. She’s got an Indonesian boyfriend who looks absolutely miserable whenever they’re together.

Of course he’s miserable! She’s in her late 50s and he’s in his early 20s! I couldn’t imagine having to bang into that old chocha just to be able to pay my rent and enjoy an occasional meal out. I’m sure he’s hitting it from the back and pretending it’s someone else because this chick is faaaattttt, loud and all around a true BLUE cow.

old fat cow


Back to my story…Shelly and I get to the party and it’s full of these “couples.” I thought it was hilarious. They were nice, but all of them looked so mismatched. I stupidly had 4 shots of arak (a locally made liquor) which the locals call the truth liquor. Well…mix this with a large bottle of Bintang beer and I was flying. It’s been ages since I drank that much alcohol, but these people do it everyday! It’s as if the entire expat community here is a bunch of alcoholics.

The “truth liquor” made me state (and quite loudly) that I thought it was pathetic to see so many older women on the island with young men. I don’t quite remember everything I said, but according to Shelly, I also mentioned that they should know these men were using them for their money and blah, blah, blah. Quite rightly, Kris (the birthday cow), asked me to f*** off. Wayan took me home and I was in quite a state.

I made everyone at her party feel uncomfortable.

Yeah…I admit it.

I was loud and obnoxious.

Yeah…I admit it.

I took the piss out of someone that didn’t do anything to me.

Yeah…I admit it. I was wrong.


The next day I asked Shelly what happened. Once she told me, I felt quite bad and decided to send Kris an immediate apology. Then I noticed Kris posted a public message on Facebook thanking everyone for coming to her birthday party and then called me an obnoxious bitch that wasn’t invited and tried to spoil her party. She didn’t mention my name, so I give that credit. Is it just me or is this type of comment from a woman in her 50s a little immature?

I decided to adjust my apology to mention that I thought it was in bad taste that she posted a public message about what happened considering her age. My humble request was that although I was quite sorry for what said, I would appreciate it if she never spoke to me again in life. I can never have respect for people that take the passive aggressive approach when it comes to things that bother them…just tell me straight out.

She pretty much said “ditto” and that’s it. There were a few lessons learned on my “truth liquor” night.

First of all, arak and I don’t mix! After witnessing these cows, I don’t want to become one of them. Inspiration has been achieved so now I’m living a healthier lifestyle. My future acquaintances will only consist of productive, healthy people whose lives don’t revolve around fucking people 20 years or more their junior and drinking themselves into a stupor.

I was sorry for making everyone feel uncomfortable, but I wasn’t sorry about what I said. Doesn’t everyone need a bit of the truth sometimes?

Old Drunk Norwegian

In light of the past few days, I was in a moment of weakness. There was this old Norwegian guy that’s been trying to get into my pants since I got here. Since being here, I’ve blown him off. After the old cow incident I thought it might be good to expand my circle. He picked me up for lunch yesterday on his scooter. We ended up going for babi guling, the Balinese dish of roast suckling pig, at a local warung. It was okay. It got me out of the apartment anyway even if I was with some old dude.

Then he had 2 Bintang beers over lunch.

I had water.

Then we went for a coffee a few doors down. Apparently coffee meant 3 more Bintang beers for him. I should’ve left when he had the third one, but it was as if the masochist in me wanted to see how this fool was going to behave. He then mentioned that I had some sauce on my chest and tried to wipe it away! I told him, “Don’t touch me.”  He then insisted that I go back to his villa and that it was too big for him to live in by himself and some other nonsense.

I thanked him for lunch and proceeded to cross the busy intersection in Denpasar to the Circle K store (it’s like 7-11). I asked the woman to call me a taxi. He followed me and sat at the same table as me to mumble about my mosquito bites. He said the mosquitoes liked me because of my sexual pheromones!

Can you believe this fool?! I told him, rather curtly, that I wished to be alone.

He didn’t get up.

I then said, rather coldly, I didn’t wish to know him anymore and to leave my table at once. He left…finally. My taxi ride was quite pleasant and discovered a big market called Kumbasari, so it wasn’t a total loss.

I think it’s pathetic how these old men come to Asia to get young women. They become deluded into thinking they’re wanted goods. I told him from the start it was only lunch and that I was only interested in friendship. We should have an exercise where we dress these old fucks in a dress, put make-up on them and then put them in front of a mirror to see if they find themselves attractive. I swear…that’s the last time I ever take grandpa out for a walk.

old man in drag

Would you hit this? Hell to the no!!!!!

I like men that are around MY AGE…preferably without substance abuse issues. In the meantime, my rock’s rolling down the hill. I have some semblance of peace. How long before I have to push it back up? And where???

Japan? Taiwan? Tanzania?

Any thoughts? I’d love to hear your comments about ageism in dating.

Rock on wherever you are!



2 Comments Add yours

  1. Sayuri says:

    stay away from the old ass Norwegians. i was laughing so much….good blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Becca M says:

      Hahaha…yeah, I learned my lesson.

      Liked by 2 people

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